Be Yourself

"You can't base your life on other people's expectations."

~Stevie Wonder 

We've all done it at some point or another--tried to live our lives based on someone else's expectations.  Those people might have been our parents.  Or maybe our peers.  Or a significant other. Most of us have learned the hard way that basing your life on other people's expectations leaves you living someone else's life.  And, just like wearing someone else's shoes, it may not fit very well.  You life needs to be a reflection of you.  It needs to reflect what is important to you, what you are passionate about, what brings you joy (or sorrow).  Each of us is given a life to live, and we deserve to live it to the fullest. 

This week: Take a hard look at how much you are living your life to fit someone else's expectations.  Are you compromising your values to get along? Are you ignoring things you like to do because someone else doesn't feel the same way?  Are you going along to get along?  Are you avoiding long overdue confrontations?  If so, make a decision to be more of yourself.  Do ONE SMALL THING to express something about yourself, regardless of whether or not others approve.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people identify what is most important to them and help them overcome the "need to please." She wants people to live meaningful, purposeful lives and created Discover Your Life's Purpose: 7 Steps to a Life of Meaning & Authenticity, a self help CD/workbook program.  For more information go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .

The Expression of Your Power Requires Relaxation

"Your power is proportional to your ability to relax."

~ David Allen

When you have the ability to relax, you allow yourself to replenish.  You build an environment that nurtures your power and your creativity.  You allow yourself to reflect, to think more clearly, and to relate to others more authentically.  You are able to relax you can really allow yourself to be most yourself--and in doing that, you allow your power to shine through.

This week:  Take time to relax each day.  Allow yourself to center yourself, to escape cares and worries just for a short period of time.  Make sure you allow yourself at least 20 minutes when you can focus on your breathing, focus on turning within.  Acknowledge your wise self.  Acknowledge what is right in your world.  Do this each day for at least a week.  Notice at the end of the week how you feel.  Do you feel more connected to YOURSELF?  Has there been an increase in your calmness?  Acknowledge yourself for taking the time to connect with yourself through this relaxation. 

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people maximize their results.  She utilizes step by step approaches to make complicated things feel easy, and specializes in helping people develop their inner resouces for transformaton.  For more information on her approach, go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/

Let Go of Phony and Be Yourself

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

~Dr. Suess

In other words, be yourself. Be authentic. When you are being yourself, others know you are authentic. They can accept for who you are, or not. The point is that when you act in an authentic way, people who do accept you are accepting the "real" you, instead of someone you are pretending to be. The problem with pretending is that people can see through the phoniness. Even if they buy your phony routine, ultimately you won't be able to maintain it. The real you will shine through at some point or another. And if someone has believed you to be someone else, they end up feeling betrayed and angry.

This week: Experiment with being yourself. Let your guard down and express your authentic self in at least two different settings. Notice what happens. Do you have more fun? Is there less pressure? How do others accept you? Notice how good it feels when someone accepts you for your "real self."

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people reach their goals and overcome the obstacles that block their dreams. Sometimes those obstacles are the ways we sabotage ourselves, pretending to be someone we are not. For more information about her services and some free resources, go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .

Practice Being Authentic

"Insist on yourself, never imitate."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

We hear the word "authentic" bandied about frequently. What is really means is the art of being true to yourself. Many of us hide behind social facades, fearful of letting anyone know the "real" person we are. Maybe the fear is that we won't be accepted for our true selves. The reality is that you are more likely to meet people who you can have meaningful relationships with when you are yourself, as opposed to pretending to be someone else.

This week: Practice being yourself. You don't have to reveal all the intimate details of your life, but show the world who you really are at least in some single social situation or with some trusted friend. Notice how it feels. Although it might feel uncomfortable at first, the more you do it, the less difficult it will become. Really. Often what stops us from being ourselves is a fear that others won't accept us or will judge us. Give yourself an opportunity this week to find out that others are too preoccupied with what YOU will think about them to jump into a judgment about you.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and trainer at Inner Resource Center, LLC. She has 30 years experience helping people find their true, authentic selves by getting rid of the emotional clutter of negative emotions and limiting beliefs formed from past experiences. For more information go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .