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Inner Resource Center

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

The Secret About Negativity



You've probably noticed it. It isn't exactly subtle. Whether you it hits you from the news, from social media or interactions with people you thought were friends, we seem to be almost drowning in negativity.

It isn't that people hold different opinions about what is best for their country and their lives, it is the venom with which those opinions are expressed that are concerning. People always vigorously defend their beliefs. We all do it with all beliefs. Once we decide to believe something, we work to prove ourselves "right." We ignore evidence to the contrary. We distort evidence to prove our beliefs right. And we generalize from one event so that it applies to all.

Again, we ALL do it with ALL our beliefs. What I find disturbing is the negativity which surrounds us on all sides. Whether the negativity is expressed through a focus on problems and what isn't going well, or whether it descends into name-calling, threats and violence, all the negativity has an impact. A harmful impact.

We are affected, not only by words, but by the emotions behind them. How do we know? There have been studies demonstrating it.

Studies by Dr. Masaru Emoto demonstrated that water molecules respond to the words that are used about them, changing their structure to respond to the message.  If the message is positive and loving, the water molecule changes into beautiful crystalline patterns; if the message is negative, the water molecule becomes deformed and ugly. 

Quantum Physics has shown us that we create our own possibilities in the universe, and that matter responds to us and changes in response to what we envision.

This is powerful.  Since we are mostly water, think about the serious implications of being around negative people who use words to put you down or surround you with that negativity. 

Mental health professionals know that people who are exposed to continual verbal abuse begin to believe what they are told, believing that they aren't worthy of being treated well, believing that they deserve to be belittled. In fact, if the cells of your body are listening in and react to what they are being told, it follows that they may create disease or at least decrease their ability to fight it off.

I am hardly a Pollyanna. I know there is ugliness in the world. I work with people every day who struggle to overcome the ugliness they've experienced so that they can move on. So that they can create a life of happiness and success.

How do you do that? It is vitally important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage you to be your best. Quite literally, it can be a matter of life or death. While this may sound like an exaggeration, think for a moment about people you have known who have been in hostile, emotionally abusive relationships and the toll it has taken on their health.

If you have been surrounding yourself with people who belittle you and use words to attack you, consider how toxic this is for your health.  Just as you wouldn't stay in an environment where you were breathing toxic chemicals--things that could make you sick or kill you--you shouldn't stay around people who use words or their opinions in toxic ways.  

As much as possible, avoid being around people who are negative.  No matter what their excuse is for it, it isn't good for you. If you can't avoid them completely, limit your time around them, and take steps to counteract the messages they send you by focusing on positives, beauty, humor, love. Think positive thoughts. Say affirmations. Pray. Be grateful. Choose to spend time and be in situations and relationships with people who express positivity and inspiration. Find people to support you and help you realize your potential.

You may not be able to get rid of the negativity currently pervasive in the media and in election campaigns, but you CAN keep it out of your life. Turn off the television. Focus on your own life and how to make it the way you want.

As the Chinese proverb says: "You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair."

The secret about negativity is not to let it build a nest in your hair. 


 Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a personal and business coach and trainer. She helps people overcome the obstacles to their success and happiness--including negativity. She has spent the past 38 years helping her clients create the life of their dreams and is grateful for the opportunity. She believes that everyone can solve their life's challenges if they can only access their resources. The Inner Resource Center, LLC helps connect people to their resources again so that they can move forward to a life they love. For more information, contact her at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com ,


Monday, October 3, 2016

Top 5 Reasons to Get Rid of Your Mindset Limitations



"I don't know what that problem is," she told me. "I've been working really hard, but I can't ever seem to reach the success I've been chasing. There must be something wrong with me."

It's a common complaint I hear in many different forms:

  • "I'm stuck."
  • "No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to work."
  • "Maybe I'm not cut out for this."
  •  "I'm working as hard as I can, but I can't seem to get there."

All of these complaints have mindset at their core.  It isn't that you aren't working hard enough. Success doesn't have to be so elusive. At the core of all these problems is the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and values that underlie everything you do.  Mindset is the voice in your head that tells you "I can't..."  It's the part that tells you "I don't deserve..."  It is at the core of your self-doubt and lack of confidence.

Usually these thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and values have their foundations in events from your past. They are the reactions to events in your life that didn't turn out the way you wanted them to.  As a result you jumped to conclusions about what the problem was.  You formed beliefs that began to limit you, and you found "proof" that you were right in your conclusions by doing what we all do when we form a belief. We ignore evidence to the contrary. We distort the evidence to "prove" we were right all along.  And we generalize from situations where the belief may be true to all situations or every single time.

Then to make it even more complicated, the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, attitudes and values fall out of our awareness and become unconscious.  We don't even realize these mindset saboteurs are chugging away under the surface messing everything up. 

As amazing as it may seem, 90% of your success or failure are the result of mindset issues.  Specifically, it's those mindset limitations you've unconsciously set into motion.  It is vitally  important to address your mindset issues. If you don't you'll continue to struggle.

The top 5 reasons to address your mindset limitations are

1.       To get rid of obstacles that block your goals--especially obstacles that are self-imposed.   
Your mindset limitations stop you just as completely as if you were running head-first into a           brick wall.

2.       To get off the roller-coaster and create CONSISTENT results.
Maybe you've had some success, but you can't seem to duplicate it and your ups and downs are affecting your confidence.

3.         To conquer your fears.
No matter if your fears are of a fear of failure, a fear of success, a fear of being noticed, a fear of rejection, fear plays a huge role in taking the steps you need to in order to be successful. If you are fearful, you'll avoid doing the things you need to do to succeed.

4.         To get rid of self-doubt.
Self doubt often keeps you stuck. You lack the confidence to get out there and do what you need to in order to achieve your goals. Self-doubt is composed of "what if's" and most of them are catastrophic. If you can get out of your own way, you are likely to discover that you are more capable then you thought.  You really CAN do those things you didn't think you could.

5.         To get rid of limiting beliefs that hurt your confidence and self-esteem.
Those may be beliefs like "I'm not worthy," or "I have to be perfect," or "I'm not good enough." If you've been thinking there's something wrong with you, there is likely a limiting belief that is feeding it.

The good news is that mindset limitations can be resolved. The bad news is that you can't just decide to believe or think something more helpful. Because mindset issues tend to lurk in the unconscious, you can't consciously change them--you have to change them with unconscious methods.  Think about it--if you chant "There are no weeds in my garden; there are no weeds in my garden; there are no weeds in my garden," a hundred times, what happens?  The weeds still take over your garden. You have to DO something, and it has to address the weed's roots.

Want to know more? Contact me, Linda Pucci at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com to schedule time to talk over the phone about your mindset limitations and what you can do about it.  There are lots of techniques and methods that work. When you are ready to address your mindset, email me and we'll talk about what will work best for you.




Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a personal and business coach and an expert in helping clients resolve mindset issues that interfere with their success and happiness.  For more information go to http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com to learn about her services. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Let Go of the "Struggle"



I've always been a pretty hard worker. Even as a kid I was driven to achieve. As a youngest child, I had two older sisters to live up to and with whom to compete.  I used to have a belief that work had to be difficult in order to qualify as "work." After all, that's why it's called "work," right? You needed to always put out your best effort, and you needed to sustain those efforts until you succeeded. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" was my guiding principle back then.

Work involved lots of effort, lots of time, and lots of energy to be successful. I learned how all the labor-saving devices that had been invented to try to help us manage our lives more easily had, instead, somehow created more demands on our time. Even so, I knew that having the right tools could make the task easier, whether it was cutting wood or changing a habit. That sometimes meant training and studying to learn new skills. If you weren't good at something, you spent time developing that skill.

And then, everything shifted. The new paradigm became utilizing your strengths and outsourcing the other tasks, whether they were hiring a bookkeeper, or someone to design your business cards, or someone to clean your house. Along with it came shocking ideas such as "If at first you don't succeed, try something different;" and "Don't push the river, it flows by itself;" and "Not everything worth doing is worth doing well." I had a hard time wrapping my arms around those concepts.

But I began to imagine: What if things didn't have to be so difficult? What if everything didn't have to be a struggle? That idea really intrigued me. As I began to unpack it, I realized that despite what I'd always believed, things that were difficult weren't necessarily more valuable. What was valuable was the outcome. Something didn't increase in value because I'd suffered, struggled and slaved over it. Maybe I put some greater value on it because of all the time and effort I'd invested, but really, that was more about valuing the process and my efforts, rather than the outcome.

The process of achieving a goal--the work involved--isn't really the same as the outcome itself. What if you could achieve the outcome without the suffering and struggle? Hmm. That idea became very appealing. I realized that I didn't get extra brownie points because I worked hard. The reward and value was in the end result.

Climbing over obstacles to your success was necessary, but it didn't have to take so long. It didn't have to be so difficult. I studied and found some tools that made things easier. I learned techniques and experimented with others until I created resources that allowed my clients to make big changes without the struggle and huge expenditure of time, energy and money.

The first step is making the decision that something needs to change.

The second step is figuring out what that "something that needs to change" really is. For most of us, it has to do with how we've allowed our history to affect us. We've held onto negative emotions from past experiences. We've created identities based on some of those experiences, and we cling to them because they are familiar, not because they're working for us. We've formed or held on to beliefs that limit us, rather than empower us. We've allowed ourselves to believe that the struggle is part of life. Sometimes, we've allowed toxic people and situations to take over our lives. We've developed and held onto habits that don't serve us well.

The third step is to imagine, yes, imagine how things could be different. What would your life be like if you didn't have to struggle? What if it just flowed. Easily. Effortlessly. Taking you where you want to go, rather than where you think you must go. Create the vision of what your life could be like. Don't worry yet about how you're going to get there. Just imagine. Fill in all the details of what that life would be like. Would there be challenges? Probably, but imagine that you just handled them without stressing about it. What if you lived your life, whatever that means to you and those you love. What if you decided what you wanted and made it happen?

You can. Having the right tools helps make it easier. Call me and let's talk about what you imagine, as well as what stands in the way. Together we can figure out what needs to happen to get there, even if you decide not to work with me. You can reach me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com or call me at 865-983-7544.

 © 2016. Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Linda Pucci is a personal/business coach and trainer at the Inner Resource Center, LLC in Maryville, TN. She helps her clients get rid of the struggle and overcome obstacles to their success. Her specialty is helping people get rid of the mindset issues that lead to self-sabotage. For more information on letting go of the struggle in YOUR life, contact her at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

How Long Are You Willing to Wait?



"I'm sick and tired of feeling this way," she told me. "I've decided I can't keep going like this." Her life wasn't the way she wanted to be. It hadn't been for years. She'd tried a bunch of things, but they hadn't worked, or if they had, they hadn't worked for long.

"I know this will probably take a long time. . ." she said.

"Not really," I replied. "Not if you're ready to get rid of the junk that's standing in your way. These days there are a lot of ways to make changes pretty quickly."

I used to believe the same thing: that change had to be slow and measured by weeks, months and years. But then I got impatient.

Please understand me. I like the people I work with, but there really is no need for us all to grow old together. In fact, the older I've become, the more aware I am of the passing of time and that the time for living will be limited.

I've become focused on SOLUTIONS. Because, what if we didn't have to wait years to create the life we want? What if we didn't have to spend years trying to clean up the things that have caused us problems? What if we could get rid of our baggage and move on?

When I was a therapist, I studied many of the latest and most promising techniques. Ways that could help people move on from trauma, from illness, from circumstances that had scarred them.  I began looking for solutions in the mid '80s. Good heavens, that was 30 years ago!

I've been honing those skills ever since. Creating new methods to help people change their lives by working with them differently. In traditional therapy, clients meet with their therapist or counselor for about an hour. What that means is that just about the time they've begun to uncover something important, it's time to quit. That starting and stopping and starting and stopping from session to session, in my opinion, pretty much ensures that your progress will be slower than it has to be. Because face it, few of us remember exactly where we were a week later. You have to find your place and begin again. I'm not saying you can't make progress that way. I'm saying it's slow going.

Some people like to move slowly. They like to savor the process and understand the nuances of their lives and the events that have happened to them. Sorry. Not me. I'm the impatient sort. I want to dive in and work intensely and then have you move on with your life. Fix what's broken. Find what's not working, take care of it, and go on. 

I'm not a therapist anymore (I retired my psychologist license in December, 2012), so I don't have to use that model that says we meet once a week for an hour. As a personal and business coach, I've created a new model that is faster, more focused and more intensive. If you aren't willing to wait for years to clear out your mental junk, you might find this model fits you better.

The Intensive Personal Breakthrough Session (sometimes called Personal Makeover Sessions) takes you through a process over the course of 4-5 days, working multiple hours together each day. We do intensive preparation before we ever meet, so that we're very clear about what issue or issues we're working on. We do intensive work in person while you're here in East Tennessee. There's often homework. We both work hard, AND you resolve the issues you came to solve. Then I do follow-up with you, meeting once a month by phone for 75 minutes each time and checking in regularly by email to make sure you're maintaining your progress. 

I love this model because I get to watch people transform before my very eyes (which is the coolest thing ever). My clients love it because it gets rid of their old baggage pretty quickly, and much easier than they ever would have anticipated.

I know you may have invested years of your life carrying your baggage around with you. It's been cumbersome, and probably kept you from doing things you'd like to do or achieving goals you wanted to achieve. But just because you've had a problem/issue/challenge for years, doesn't mean you can't get rid of it.

How long are you willing to wait before you let it go? It's really up to you. The first and most important step in the process is deciding you're ready to let it go and to move on with your life. 

When you decide you don't want to keep living like you have been, call me at 865-983-7544 or email me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com. We can talk about what will work best for you.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a personal/business coach and trainer who specializes in helping people get over the obstacles that stand in the way of their happiness and success. She specializes in helping her clients get unstuck and get over mindset issues that sabotage their ability to reach their goals. 

Monday, October 24, 2011

Wealth Is a State of Mind

"Wealth is not a material gain, but a state of mind."

~Jerry Gillies

What we think and feel about our lives is really what determines if we are wealthy or not.  If you are focused on what you DON'T HAVE, you will feel poor.  If you are focused on what you DO HAVE, you will feel rich.  There will always be people who have more than you have in terms of financial wealth.  And there will always be people who have less than you have in terms of financial resources.  It isn't about how much stuff you've accumulated or the cost of the things you own, it is the quality of your life that determines your life's richness.  And the quality of your life is determined by what you think about it.

This week:  Notice those who have less than you as well as those who have more than you. (Usually the latter is pretty easy to notice).  Think about what it is that really makes your life rich.  Write down those things.  Then review your list and see how you are doing at creating real wealth in your life (the non-monetary kind).  Is there something you could do to help yourself create more richness in your life?  Set an intention to do that.  You deserve to have a rich, meaningful, authentic life!

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people overcome the mindset limitations and limiting beliefs that keep them from creating a life that is rich, both personally and financially.  She has created a 7-step process for finding your life's purpose and beginning to live it.  For more information, go to http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com .  

Monday, October 17, 2011

Be Yourself

"You can't base your life on other people's expectations."

~Stevie Wonder 

We've all done it at some point or another--tried to live our lives based on someone else's expectations.  Those people might have been our parents.  Or maybe our peers.  Or a significant other. Most of us have learned the hard way that basing your life on other people's expectations leaves you living someone else's life.  And, just like wearing someone else's shoes, it may not fit very well.  You life needs to be a reflection of you.  It needs to reflect what is important to you, what you are passionate about, what brings you joy (or sorrow).  Each of us is given a life to live, and we deserve to live it to the fullest. 

This week: Take a hard look at how much you are living your life to fit someone else's expectations.  Are you compromising your values to get along? Are you ignoring things you like to do because someone else doesn't feel the same way?  Are you going along to get along?  Are you avoiding long overdue confrontations?  If so, make a decision to be more of yourself.  Do ONE SMALL THING to express something about yourself, regardless of whether or not others approve.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people identify what is most important to them and help them overcome the "need to please." She wants people to live meaningful, purposeful lives and created Discover Your Life's Purpose: 7 Steps to a Life of Meaning & Authenticity, a self help CD/workbook program.  For more information go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .

Monday, October 10, 2011

Warren Buffet's Advice

"The one piece of advice I can give you is, 
do what turns you on. 
Do something that if you had all the money in the world, 

you’d still be doing it. 
You’ve got to have a reason to 
jump out of bed in the morning."

~Warren Buffet

You need to have passion for what you do every day.  That is what sustains you when times are tough or when you are facing tasks that are a challenge.  If you do what you love, you bring to your job creativity, enthusiasm, energy and joy.  That is contagious and communicates itself to your clients or customers. If you really have a passion for your career and are willing to commit yourself to the expression of that passion, you'll find a way to make it successful.

This week: Think about what got you interested in the job you currently hold.  Is there passion there, or was there passion at one time?  If you've lost it, think about what you'd need to be able to recapture it.  If you are doing something that you are not passionate about, is there something else you need to be doing? If so, figure out what the first step might be in moving into that.  Don't get scared--you don't have to make a jump right now.  Just consider what small thing you could do to move you in that direction.  Sometimes it may be just acknowledging your dream.  What's your dream?

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert at helping people discover their passion and overcome the obstacles to making it happen.  She specializes in helping her clients over mindset limitations--those limiting beliefs and attitudes that keep you stuck.  For more information about her services, go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/