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Monday, November 13, 2017

How Can You Get Your “What Ifs” to Drive Your Success?




Last week’s blog post focused on the idea that your ability to consider consequences—your “What If” thinking—could be positive or negative for you.

If you’re focused on all the things that could possibly go wrong, most likely, those “what ifs” will drive you to focus on negatives, maybe even potential catastrophes. When you’re focused on negative consequences, that’s what you may tend to create. Why? Because that’s where your focus is. The ideas that come to you will more likely have to do with negative outcomes, and when your focus is on negative things you don’t want to see happen, it’s a recipe for anxiety as well as being a recipe for attracting all that negativity and unfortunate outcomes.

While it may be fine to consider what might go wrong so that you can prepare for it and fix it, if your focus is only on what could go wrong, you most likely won’t have enough creative energy to dream about a big, successful outcome.

You see, both types of “what if” thinking are necessary for success. The awareness of what can go wrong is fine if it leads you to take steps to repair the weak areas in your plan. But maybe even more important is the ability to think “what if” in a positive direction.
Businesses that are successful, and people who are really successful allow themselves to consider “what if” to allow them to stretch and build something that maybe no one has thought of before.

Innovation depends upon examining positive “what ifs.” Thomas Edison considered what would happen if we could harness energy to light our homes. The Wright Brothers thought about creating a machine that humans could ride in what might fly from one place to another. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs used slightly different approaches to focus on the “what if” question of what if a computer didn’t have to take up a whole floor of a building?
The positive “what ifs” focus on possibilities. It allows people to invent things people have never seen before. It allows the creation of new approaches, new methods, new techniques, and entirely new fields and professions.

One of the “what if” questions I always ask myself when I want to stimulate thinking about positive “what ifs” is 

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

That approach lets you take any negative “what ifs” out of consideration and allows you to dream big. It allows you to consider possibilities that you might not have thought possible.
The idea with this question and with positive “what if” thinking is that it allows you to bypass your limitations, and by doing that, you’re able to dream bigger and stretch yourself more. Maybe you’ll consider doing something or creating something that you hadn’t thought possible because of your previous focus on the negative.

Imagining “what if” possibilities allows you to make choices and to uncover where your greatest passion lies. It allows you to let go of self-imposed limitations—like thinking “that can’t be done,” or “that would be impossible.” It allows you to imagine “what if it could be done?” That gets your mind working to problem-solve and to create new approaches and new ideas.

You’re able to harness your brain to work for you, instead of against you. When that happens there are no limits to where you can go and what you can accomplish.

When you think about harnessing your brain this way, does that make you feel empowered? Fearful? Overwhelmed? Cynical? Optimistic? If you need help exploring how this positive “what if” thinking might work in your life, I’d be happy to talk with you about it in a free half-hour phone call. During that call, I’ll work with you to figure out your next step. Email me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com or call me at 865-983-7544. Sometimes all it takes is having somebody to bounce an idea off of. I’ve been fortunate in my life to have people I could do that with, so I’m happy to serve that purpose for others. Because my “what if” is

“What if we all reached out to others who need or want a sounding board?

What if we encouraged each other to move forward?

What if we helped each other overcome limitations that block us?

What if we each used our unique abilities to help others succeed?

What could our world be like?”

Take the first step today to create what is possible. Let me help.


(c) 2017 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D. All rights reserved.


Tuesday, November 7, 2017

What Are You Tolerating?



It Will Sap Your Energy and Interfere With Your Life

I have a sign in my office that says “You Get What You Tolerate.” It’s there to remind my clients (and me!) that when we tolerate things we don’t like, we allow them in our lives. That is usually not such a good thing.

What is a toleration? It can be anything that bugs you–something you are putting up with that you really wouldn’t HAVE to. A toleration becomes a compromise you talk yourself into making. Sometimes it is putting up with disrespect from a spouse, boyfriend, parent or family member. Sometimes it is something in your surroundings that bothers you, but you don’t do anything to change. Maybe it is something about your job or the people you work with.

Most of us tolerate a lot. Our tolerations can be big things or small things, but they all tend to sap our energy, block our happiness, and interfere with us living lives that are completely satisfying.  Think about the things in your life that you are tolerating. Make a list of things at home, at your job, in your relationships that you are putting up with. Think about what life could be like if you didn’t have to cope with them. Would you have more energy? Be happier? Be more creative and productive? Feel more at peace? Have a better life?

Why do we tolerate things we don’t have to? The answer varies, but often has to do with wanting to avoid handling things that are "difficult.” We don’t want to make waves, we don’t want to have to confront someone, or we’re afraid that we won’t be able to get rid of what we are tolerating.  Sometimes we are afraid of the changes that might happen as a result. And sometimes, we don’t believe that we deserve to have it better.

There may even be payoffs for having the toleration. For example, you may stay in a job you hate because of the financial security it provides. Or, you may feel noble about carrying the burden of the things you tolerate. It is important to look at the “payoffs” for you. The more you understand WHY you are tolerating things, the easier it will be to make a plan to get rid of them.

So here's the place to start. Publicly announce ONE THING you've been tolerating.  What are you going to do about it? Is there a payoff for hanging on to it? You can announce it in the comments section below, or on my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/linda.pucci

Take steps NOW to make the requests or take the actions to eliminate the things you are tolerating. DO IT TODAY!

P.S.   Keep in mind that you don’t have to be overbearing or aggressive–but you do have a right to try to change the things you can. Sometimes this may mean compromising, but let people know what you want first. Don’t assume that you will fail, or that you don’t deserve to be toleration-free!

If you need help with this, feel free to call me (Linda Pucci) at 865-983-7544 or email me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com. We can set up time to talk about what you are tolerating and come up with a plan for getting them out of your way. No charge for this 30 minute phone session. I want to see you move ahead and this is one thing that may really help.

Do Your “What Ifs” Hurt or Help?




Harness Your Brain Power

Humans are fortunate to have the ability to consider consequences of their decisions and actions. The ability to figure out “what would happen if. .  .” may be uniquely humana function of higher reasoning. Our ability to think logically and to anticipate what may happen can be enormously helpful.

That ability to think through consequences several steps ahead isn’t just a skill utilized in chess, although it certainly differentiates between good chess players and bad. The ability to think ahead to consider the consequences that might transpire in each of our decisions can actually save our lives. It is not only part of the strategy during war, it’s also extremely helpful in parenting, running a business, keeping a marriage intact, and keeping you financially solvent.

When you factor in experience and a clear understanding of the consequences for each action, you have a very powerful resource right there, between your ears (and for some of us, under your hair). The idea is that you can utilize this ability to determine the consequences of success or failure at each step, and take steps to modify your actions for a different and more positive outcome. Your ability to think about “what if” allows you to avoid pitfalls and seize opportunities by making course adjustments. Sometimes these are small adjustments. At other times they are huge: when you quit a job or leave a relationship, for example.

Unfortunately, that ability to think “what if” can completely sabotage you. If your “what ifs” focus on catastrophes, or fill you with worry and keep you from following your plans, then your “what if” thinking can sink you.

The key is to utilize your ability to think ahead to prevent you from making mistakes that will bring about catastrophic results. For example, your ability to plan and predict would (hopefully) keep you from investing all your money in ventures that are highly risky. You’d think, “I could lose everything I have,” and you have pretty good likelihood that you might be right. This is opposed to starting a business and investing in it strategically and cautiously. You might still think, “I could lose everything if this business isn’t a success,” but because you haven’t put all your eggs in that basket, you can think through what you’ll need to do to minimize that risk.

Imagining catastrophic outcomes often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. Your “what if” thinking goes off in the worst possible direction, and doesn’t do a risk assessment to determine really how likely that outcome will be.

Certainly, unanticipated catastrophes can happen. But there is sometimes a warning and a way to prepare.  When the tornado is heading your way, take shelter, and plan ahead of time where that shelter will be. Even when there isn’t a good way to prepare, you can do what you canpractice safe driving habits, don’t drive in blizzards, ice storms, or when you’re advised to be off the roads.  Choose airlines with a good safety record. Hire people who are experienced and highly competent. Take good care of your body and your health. Choose your friends wisely. Don’t do things your better judgment tells you to avoid. (Seriously, don’t jump off that cliff just because your friends tell you to). Don’t willingly put yourself in danger. There’s almost always something you can do. Use your brain to figure it out, even if you haven’t anticipated it.

If your “what ifs” tend to derail you, you may want to get some help to turn around those negative emotions or limiting beliefs. Strategic planning isn’t just for Fortune 500 companies. Individuals can do strategic planning so that they are heading for the outcome they want to achieve. That might be financial; it might be emotional; or it might be relationship-oriented. Use your abilities to help you create a way to reach your dreams in the easiest way possible.

If you need help with this process and harnessing your brain-power, feel free to reach out. As a personal and business coach, I help teach people how to harness their abilities to overcome self-imposed limitations so that they can live happier, more successful lives without the struggle. Reach out by email: Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com or by phone: (865) 983-7544. We’ll talk about your situation and figure out what you need to make your “what ifs” work for you, rather than against you.

© 2017 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D. All rights reserved.