It Is Not What Happens to Us, It Is How We Think About What Happens to Us

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it.

~Marcus Aurelius

As odd as it may seem, it isn't the event itself that hurts and distresses us, it is how we interpret that event and the meaning we place on it.  The good news is that we don't have to be negatively affected forever by things that have happened to us, even if they have been really traumatic.  YouCAN let go of the negative emotion, by finding positive learning in the event.  When you do that, you can let go of the distress and move on in your life.

This week:  As you go through your week, pay attention to events that ordinarily you might have allowed to derail your mood into something negative.  Notice what you can learn--positively--from this event.  Then notice how this changes your mood.  For example, when you're looking for a parking space at a crowded mall and are starting to really feel frustrated when someone swoops in and takes YOUR parking place, think about what the learning could be that would change how you feel.  Are you there to do holiday shopping?  Is the intention of the holiday to feel stressed and angry at others?  Could your giving up this parking place (even though your turn signal was on) be a special Christmas or Hanukkah present for this complete stranger?  What other meaning can you put on the events that happen to you this week that will reduce your distress?  Experiment with this; play with this.  Notice how your emotional reaction changes. 

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people master their emotions and move beyond the "emotional clutter" that blocks success and happiness.  She is the creator of the Life Moments Makeover System, a system for rapid result from negative emotions and limiting beliefs.  For more information, check out her website at http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .  

You Have to Take a Chance

Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.

~Frederick B. Wilcox

So many people are afraid to take chances.  They stay stuck in place, afraid to reach out and go after what they really want because they are afraid to move from the safety and security of their daily life.  Even if they aren't happy in their daily life, they are afraid to step forward.  The problem is that until you are ready to take a risk, you will stay on "first base"--stuck in place. 

This week:  Acknowledge to yourself what risk you need to take to move forward.  Identifying it and owning up to it brings it out into the light and allows you to begin to assess just how great the risk is.  Sometimes we make the risk so much worse in our imagination.  In the light of day, what are you really risking?  How probable is that risk?  Ask yourself:  What one small step can I take that will move me forward?  When you are focused on what step you need to take, you can shift your focus away from the fear.  Ask  yourself:  What am I risking by NOT taking that step?  Decide to do one small thing this week that will help you take that step.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert at helping people face the fears that block them and move beyond them.  Her Life Moments Makeover System allows people to let go of fear and anxiety quickly and easily.  For more information, go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/

Change Your Negative Thinking to Change Your Life

"What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds."

~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Many people don't realize that how they think about things helps shape what happens.  They dwell on all the things that could go wrong, they focus on the negatives, and then are dismayed when life keeps giving them lemons.  If you want to change how your life is going, change your thinking.  Focus instead on possibilities, opportunities, and all that is positive. 

This week:  Focus on things that are going in the direction you would like.  They don't have to be perfect, just headed in the right direction. Notice when you think negatively, and immediately change that negative to something positive.  It doesn't have to be "pie in the sky" positive, just add words to make it true.  For example, you might change "I never reach the financial goals I set" to "I haven't reached my financial goal yet, but I"m determined to do it."  Give yourself credit for what you have done so far.  Like any muscle, your brain will get stronger as you stretch it.  Focus on what you want to have happen, and what you are doing to make it so.  You are in charge of your life, and can really begin to see that fact when you change your thinking.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people change negative and limiting beliefs.  She has developed a powerful program to help her clients move beyond negative emotions and limiting beliefs that have been stockpiled from negative past experiences.  Her Life Moments Makeover System-TM allows people to make very significant life changes in 4-5 days.  For more information go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .