I've always been a pretty hard worker. Even as a kid I was
driven to achieve. As a youngest child, I had two older sisters to live up to
and with whom to compete. I used to have
a belief that work had to be difficult in order to qualify as "work."
After all, that's why it's called "work," right? You needed to always
put out your best effort, and you needed to sustain those efforts until you
succeeded. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" was my guiding
principle back then.
Work involved lots of effort, lots of time, and lots of
energy to be successful. I learned how all the labor-saving devices that had
been invented to try to help us manage our lives more easily had, instead, somehow
created more demands on our time. Even so, I knew that having the right tools
could make the task easier, whether it was cutting wood or changing a habit.
That sometimes meant training and studying to learn new skills. If you weren't
good at something, you spent time developing that skill.
And then, everything shifted. The new paradigm became
utilizing your strengths and outsourcing the other tasks, whether they were
hiring a bookkeeper, or someone to design your business cards, or someone to
clean your house. Along with it came shocking ideas such as "If at first
you don't succeed, try something different;" and "Don't push the
river, it flows by itself;" and "Not everything worth doing is worth
doing well." I had a hard time wrapping my arms around those concepts.
But I began to imagine: What if things didn't have to be so
difficult? What if everything didn't have
to be a struggle? That idea really intrigued me. As I began to unpack it, I
realized that despite what I'd always believed, things that were difficult
weren't necessarily more valuable. What was valuable was the outcome. Something
didn't increase in value because I'd suffered, struggled and slaved over it.
Maybe I put some greater value on it
because of all the time and effort I'd invested, but really, that was more
about valuing the process and my efforts, rather than the outcome.
The process of achieving a goal--the work involved--isn't
really the same as the outcome itself. What if you could achieve the outcome without the suffering and struggle? Hmm.
That idea became very appealing. I realized that I didn't get extra brownie
points because I worked hard. The reward and value was in the end result.
Climbing over obstacles to your success was necessary, but
it didn't have to take so long. It didn't have to be so difficult. I studied
and found some tools that made things easier. I learned techniques and
experimented with others until I created resources that allowed my clients to
make big changes without the struggle and huge expenditure of time, energy and
money.
The first step is making the decision that something needs
to change.
The second step is figuring out what that "something
that needs to change" really is. For most of us, it has to do with how
we've allowed our history to affect us. We've held onto negative emotions from
past experiences. We've created identities based on some of those experiences,
and we cling to them because they are familiar, not because they're working for
us. We've formed or held on to beliefs that limit us, rather than empower us.
We've allowed ourselves to believe that the struggle is part of life. Sometimes,
we've allowed toxic people and situations to take over our lives. We've
developed and held onto habits that don't serve us well.
The third step is to imagine, yes, imagine how things could
be different. What would your life be like if you didn't have to struggle? What
if it just flowed. Easily. Effortlessly. Taking you where you want to go, rather than where you think
you must go. Create the vision of
what your life could be like. Don't
worry yet about how you're going to
get there. Just imagine. Fill in all the details of what that life would be
like. Would there be challenges? Probably, but imagine that you just handled
them without stressing about it. What if you lived your life, whatever that means to you and those you love.
What if you decided what you wanted and made it happen?
You can. Having the right tools helps make it easier. Call
me and let's talk about what you imagine, as well as what stands in the way.
Together we can figure out what needs to happen to get there, even if you
decide not to work with me. You can reach me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com or
call me at 865-983-7544.
© 2016. Linda S.
Pucci, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Linda Pucci is a personal/business coach and trainer at the Inner Resource Center, LLC in Maryville, TN. She helps her clients get rid of the struggle and overcome obstacles to their success. Her specialty is helping people get rid of the mindset issues that lead to self-sabotage. For more information on letting go of the struggle in YOUR life, contact her at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com
No comments:
Post a Comment