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Tuesday, November 7, 2017

What Are You Tolerating?

It Will Sap Your Energy and Interfere With Your Life

I have a sign in my office that says “You Get What You Tolerate.” It’s there to remind my clients (and me!) that when we tolerate things we don’t like, we allow them in our lives. That is usually not such a good thing.

What is a toleration? It can be anything that bugs you–something you are putting up with that you really wouldn’t HAVE to. A toleration becomes a compromise you talk yourself into making. Sometimes it is putting up with disrespect from a spouse, boyfriend, parent or family member. Sometimes it is something in your surroundings that bothers you, but you don’t do anything to change. Maybe it is something about your job or the people you work with.

Most of us tolerate a lot. Our tolerations can be big things or small things, but they all tend to sap our energy, block our happiness, and interfere with us living lives that are completely satisfying.  Think about the things in your life that you are tolerating. Make a list of things at home, at your job, in your relationships that you are putting up with. Think about what life could be like if you didn’t have to cope with them. Would you have more energy? Be happier? Be more creative and productive? Feel more at peace? Have a better life?

Why do we tolerate things we don’t have to? The answer varies, but often has to do with wanting to avoid handling things that are "difficult.” We don’t want to make waves, we don’t want to have to confront someone, or we’re afraid that we won’t be able to get rid of what we are tolerating.  Sometimes we are afraid of the changes that might happen as a result. And sometimes, we don’t believe that we deserve to have it better.

There may even be payoffs for having the toleration. For example, you may stay in a job you hate because of the financial security it provides. Or, you may feel noble about carrying the burden of the things you tolerate. It is important to look at the “payoffs” for you. The more you understand WHY you are tolerating things, the easier it will be to make a plan to get rid of them.

So here's the place to start. Publicly announce ONE THING you've been tolerating.  What are you going to do about it? Is there a payoff for hanging on to it? You can announce it in the comments section below, or on my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/linda.pucci

Take steps NOW to make the requests or take the actions to eliminate the things you are tolerating. DO IT TODAY!

P.S.   Keep in mind that you don’t have to be overbearing or aggressive–but you do have a right to try to change the things you can. Sometimes this may mean compromising, but let people know what you want first. Don’t assume that you will fail, or that you don’t deserve to be toleration-free!

If you need help with this, feel free to call me (Linda Pucci) at 865-983-7544 or email me at Linda@InnerResourceCenter.com. We can set up time to talk about what you are tolerating and come up with a plan for getting them out of your way. No charge for this 30 minute phone session. I want to see you move ahead and this is one thing that may really help.

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