Leave the Past Behind

"The farther behind I leave the past, 

the closer I am to forging my own character."

~ Isabelle Eberhardt

When you are stuck in the past, you often stay stuck as the person you were back then, many times determined by what others thought of you.  While all of us have been shaped by the events in our past and how we reacted to them, we DO have the power to change those influences.  The key to any experience, good or bad, is what we have learned from it.  When you take the learning and realize what is positive in it, you are able to let go of any residual negative emotions from the experience. While that doesn't change what happened, it changes its meaning.  That is of utmost importance because it opens up opportunities for you to be the person you can really be.    


This week:  Take some time to think about your past. Set aside that time. Think about what has shaped you, good or bad.   Think about each significant experience and what POSITIVE learning you got from it.  It might be something as simple (and profound) as "I survived" or "They did the best they could" or "I did the best I could."  Take a deep breath as you think about the learning.  Bring that learning forward toward the present as you review each significant event.  When you are back to today, imagine bundling all that positive learning into a bundle and shrinking it down to fit into your pocket.  Know that the learning will always be with you.  Notice how you feel.  Do you feel more like yourself?  Or the self you could be? 


Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert at helping people find resources to change their lives in big ways.  She is the creator of the Life Moments Makeover System™, a system for letting go of negative emotions and limiting mindsets quickly and easily.  For more information, go to http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com  .

It Is Not What Happens to Us, It Is How We Think About What Happens to Us

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it.

~Marcus Aurelius

As odd as it may seem, it isn't the event itself that hurts and distresses us, it is how we interpret that event and the meaning we place on it.  The good news is that we don't have to be negatively affected forever by things that have happened to us, even if they have been really traumatic.  YouCAN let go of the negative emotion, by finding positive learning in the event.  When you do that, you can let go of the distress and move on in your life.

This week:  As you go through your week, pay attention to events that ordinarily you might have allowed to derail your mood into something negative.  Notice what you can learn--positively--from this event.  Then notice how this changes your mood.  For example, when you're looking for a parking space at a crowded mall and are starting to really feel frustrated when someone swoops in and takes YOUR parking place, think about what the learning could be that would change how you feel.  Are you there to do holiday shopping?  Is the intention of the holiday to feel stressed and angry at others?  Could your giving up this parking place (even though your turn signal was on) be a special Christmas or Hanukkah present for this complete stranger?  What other meaning can you put on the events that happen to you this week that will reduce your distress?  Experiment with this; play with this.  Notice how your emotional reaction changes. 

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people master their emotions and move beyond the "emotional clutter" that blocks success and happiness.  She is the creator of the Life Moments Makeover System, a system for rapid result from negative emotions and limiting beliefs.  For more information, check out her website at http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/ .  

Life Experiences Create a Way to Transform Yourself

"Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it!"

~Ram Dass

All the experiences we have can be a source of positive learning.  Even the people and events that challenge us or we view as "negative" have a lesson to teach us to help us move forward.  Transformation requires us to be willing to change in a big way.  It requires us to perceive things differently.  We can take the experiences we have had (even the negative ones) and use them to change our lives and those of others.  Our lives and the events we experience are the perfect vehicle to transform us into who we want to be.  The first step?  You have to be willing to believe that it is possible. 

This week: Think about some of the experiences that have been significant in your life. If you still have some negative emotions attached to those experiences, begin to think about them in a different way.  What did you learn about yourself from having gone through that experience?  What strengths did you discover?  Where has your life taken you as a result of that experience?  Although you might not have chosen that experience if given a choice about it, what good has come from it?  Now notice the experiences you have this week.  Are there ways of viewing the experience which hold the potential for transformation?  Is there a failure you've learned from?  Is there a success that could move you in a totally different direction?  Where are the opportunities in your experiences for transformation.  If possible, do some writing or journaling about it.  Allow yourself to imagine change coming from an experience in your life.  When you do this, you can begin to see the possibilities for change in everyday experiences. 

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and certified trainer.  She often works intensively with clients to help them move forward quickly and transform some area of their life.  "You have to be willing and ready," she says, "but you can make significant, lasting, transformative changes in as little as 4 days."  She utilizes her 30+ years of experience and cutting edge techniques to bring about change easily.  For more information, go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/

What If You Were in Charge of Creating Your Experiences?

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose

to do with them is up to you."

~Richard Bach

When you have conflict in your life or in your relationships, look for the message about what you can learn.  Any challenge we face gives us an opportunity.  It gives us the opportunity to learn important life lessons, and to develop greater understanding and character.   The key is to move outside of the role of victim--to whom things happen TO--and move into the understanding that we create our own lives and the meaning our experiences hold for us.  When you embrace the idea that you have drawn the events to you in order to use them for a greater good, it frees you to learn from them.  By shifting your perspective you enable yourself to be empowered by your experiences, rather than being at their mercy.

This week:  Take a look at some event, person or area of your life where you have felt controlled, victimized, or at someone else's mercy.  Imagine that in a meeting long before you were born, you chose to line up these experiences so that you could learn something important.  Ask yourself what is it that you can learn from this?  Write down as many learnings as you can think of.  Now look for the learnings that are positive and enhance your life.  Have you learned about love from having it missing in your childhood?  Have you learned about the importance of tenderness from being abused?  Have you developed some gifts you now have to share with the world because of the experiences you have had in your life?  How can you use this learning for your greater good and the greater good of others. 

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach and expert in helping people get rid of "mental clutter"--those negative emotions and limiting beliefs formed from past negative experiences.  She specializes in helping people uncover the positive learnings from such experiences so that they can be empowered to live with greater meaning.  For more information go to http://www.innerresourcecenter.com/